A lot of people write to me. Besides my disease, and working with Dr. Jack, I would say that the next most frequent topic of interest in my journey to better health, is emotional eating. If that monster is part of your life, I can totally relate. I am an emotional eater, notice I didn’t say I was an emotional eater, I am one. It’s one of those things that you just don’t lose. It is a constant companion and I know I have gotten better with it, pretty much mastered, but it’s always with me. It tempts me, it tries to win, and so far, I am winning. I do believe I am in control, but there is no way of knowing what comes down the road and I don’t want to set myself up for the self recrimination that comes from falling off the little tiny pedestel of perfection.
I feel sorry for people who write to me about emotional eating because I see myself in their journey, and I wish I could help. Look, I am not Dr. Jack, I am not a health professional, I know nothing about the ins and outs of helping people with this same problem. I am just an expert at being me. And I don’t know what will work for you, but I know what has helped me. And I am happy to share that with you. It’s a tough road, I won’t lie to you, and give some fairy tale version of my battle with this, but what I know is that you can master it, you have to believe that. It doesn’t mean you won’t fall down, or that times you will be better at it than others but you can do it! I have faith in you!!
So where do you start? Well….first, and I am being serious here, you have to be totally committed to getting rid of it. Now although that seems obvious, it isn’t. It has to be a complete commitment on your part. For me, it was that I was going into this thing with both feet, all in, all cards face up on the table. Whatever was, I was going to be completely honest with Dr. Jack. And there were tons he helped with, but some journeys, with all the information and needed help from others, well….you have to walk the dark, ugly road alone. People can hold your hand, but you walk it on your own steam, so if you are not ready, then don’t. I say that because I knew that I just couldn’t do it again. I had one big try left in me…. this was it and I was going for it all.
I used to get up every Monday totally committed. Going to eat better, going to give up emotional eating. That lasted until the first problem I encountered on Monday and then it was Tuesday Tuesday, I am totally committed….then Wednesday. And with all that came the vicious cycle of beating on myself. “You have no willpower! You can’t last even a half day! It’s no wonder you feel like you do, you are doing it to yourself!”
So if this is the time you are going all in, then really mean it. When you say you are committed, mean it! “I am totally committed to managing my emotional eating.” Say it lots of times and mean it. And be ready, because this ugly monster is going to fight back. Trust me, it’s not going quietly! First problem, first stressful situation and your head is screaming at you. So you have to be mentally prepared for the temper tantrum it’s going to have.
So you are totally in. What I did next was to really look at it, I had tried and failed so many times. Why? Who knows….but this time I was going to win. I decided to start by understanding my journey with emotional eating. I had to look at the truth, and so do you….dig in deep and ask yourself where this came from? How did you get here? At what point does it become eating because you need it emotionally?
I spent a lot of time looking at my life and asking myself the tough questions….. at what point do I think I got like this? When in my life did I turn to food as a a comfort thing? When did I eat out of anger or frustration? What were the conversations in my head that went with it? How was I talking myself into it? What was I saying after?
After a lot of soul searching, I can pretty much map that back to my childhood. Somewhere along the line, when I was hurting, I would eat. And that felt good. When the world was beating on me, food made me feel better. I don’t really want to share all my dark secrets and I don’t ask you to share yours. But get honest with yourself when did you start? How bad is it? What are you dealing with?
So, you want in on how I fixed it? Then do the work. Take a bit to really delve into it in your head. Ask the tough hard questions and know the monster you are trying to battle.
Next part…. know your enemy.