New year, new me and new YOU, too! Make this the year that you conquer your emotional eating.
Part 1: http://hashimotofriend.com/2017/01/03/emotional-eating-lets-really-look-at-that/
Part 2: So you thought about it, and you know how you got here. I know for me that it had a lot to do with just a pattern in life that got ingrained. Hungry? Eat! Something good happened, eat for reward. Something bad happened? Eat to feel better. Lousy day at work? Eat! Happy? Sad? Angry? Confused? Confrontation? Depressed? Comfort comes in food.
If that’s your story, as it was mine, you have to break the patterns. But in order to break it, you have to know when it’s screaming at you. Know your enemy.
My next step was to start looking at the monster and studying it’s patterns. And believe me, I wrote it all down. When are you eating? That means study it all the time. Write it down, and write down anything emotional that is effecting what you eat or what you seem to want. For myself, I started realizing that every day, I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner at specified times because I was hungry and needed food, but at 3 and 9:30 p.m, I was also hungry and wanted sugar or salt. But only Monday through Friday. On Saturday I am not hungry all day. And Sunday, I seem to be hungry most often at brunch time and want something more than the usual.
The I started analyzing that to see what that was about. Why was I aching for sugar at 3? And was it every day?? I figured out that I was ALWAYS hungry at 3, but only some days wanted the sugar. That is easy! The sugar is the emotional food. Cookies make everything better right? 9:30. 10:00 wanted again…..End of shift at the store.
Sugar changes your brain chemistry. And it’s addictive. I did a lot of research on that. My brain was fighting back telling me I needed it. It was ugly. I can write my findings in another blog.
So I tackled this as a two part thing. The hunger issue was solved by eating better! Dr. Jack helped so much with that. He talked to me about having snacks with me, things to carry. My lunch needed more protein! Did I have enough protein at lunch? Enough to hold me over until dinner? Did I need a snack? I added in almonds, pumpkin seeds, sometimes, or a few chicken strips or some veggies or a snack protein shake. Then I wasn’t as hungry. Or I kept some of my lunch to have at the end of the school day. I made sure there was always a protein shake in my bag. Always carried two “just in case” shakes.
But on the days I craved the sugar, I had to be very careful. What I found out was that the LEAST taste of anything sugar really just made me want more. So carrots were out, the snack shake was out. The grape tomatoes were out. Those things triggered me to want more. But I found the nuts helped. They were crunchy, and I chewed and chewed and chewed. Veggies that were crunchy helped too. Then as I got better the shake came back in and I was okay,
Did that make it all go away! Heck no! I had to go back and reanalayze the whole thing. I finally realized that the problem was more than just the food and stress issue. I had come to tie food to a reward and punishment cycle and that was a problem.
I did a ton of brain work. I had so many conversations with myself. I had to work sooooo hard at this! I had to stop looking at food in the ways I had. I got a lot of “help,” by conversations I actually had with others. I had a friend who had gone on a diet. She told me that every weekend, she took Saturday off and enjoyed whatever she wanted as a reward. I learned a lot in that. Did I do that? Was I saying okay good job, so I deserve a food reward? When did food become a reward?? Is that the best way for me to look at it?
Another conversation occurred when someone I know was telling me that they had an awful day at work and stopped at a fast food place very time that happened, ate and then went home and didn’t have dinner because they were too full from the junk they had eaten. Hmmm…. had I ever done that too? Sighhhhhh…. many of us see ourselves in those stories.
That was when the hard work began. The big conversations we had inside my head……
1. Food is food…. it is fuel. It is nourishment. Yes, I can enjoy to taste and that’s nice! Why shouldn’t it be delicious, but essentially it has to be divorced of good and bad. It is not to be used as a reward or punishment. It is not comfort. I have to treat food as just that, food. And stop denying myself nourishment! There! That’s it!! It’s nourishment! I have to get my head on that idea!!
2. If I do that, my comfort and my reward has to come from something else. Why am I rewarding myself or punishing myself?? No more at all. I don’t need to reward myself at all, ever! That’s a childhood idea that I need to lose! I need to take care of myself. I provide myself with good food. I eat well because I have a lot to do and I need to be nourished to do it. I don’t put junk inside me. I can’t work on junk. And I can’t work if I am starving.
3. Don’t change addictions. No rewards for job well done. No!! Don’t trade the food for shopping or other rewards. Again, I have no need to either punish or reward myself. If I am tired I need sleep. If I am hungry I need to eat. If I am angry, I need to find an outlet. Sometimes I need a break so I sit down and read or something else I enjoy. But I don’t use anythingggggggg as a reward or punishment.
4. It gets tempting when you are watching others eat something that you used to love but know you shouldn’t have. Get out of the situation! Walk out of the room. I don’t sit around a lot while people are eating. If it’s school, I go run copies. If it’s the store and tempting treats are nearby, I try to find a job to do away from it. At home, I make my meal, and don’t sit at the table long. Too hard. I make alternatives to the food I might make for others. But……If my family is having some great meal, I am making myself an equally great dinner! Food that is much better or me is best, I get full, and stop thinking about it.
5. You fight and fight and fight…. sometimes day by day… sometimes hour by hour…. sometimes a minute at a time. And your body will fight back telling you that you need it. But you don’t….. the feelings will pass. Some days I cried. I admit that. We are friends right? So I can share that. Some days you will cry too….. But every day you get stronger. One day at a time, you finally start winning the war!
Part 3 coming soon….other strategies.