If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that…. none of us knows the inner burden that others carry. You don’t know mine and I don’t know yours. It’s easy to walk by people and think we know what their problem is, but if we have never walked their road, how do we know?
I was reminded of that at my second job a few days ago. A woman in one of those riding carts came in with her husband. He was a tall very thin man and she was on the larger size. She had ordered some clothing on line, and was stopping by to pick it up. I went to get the packages. His comment that everyone in a ten foot radius could hear, was, “I hope you ordered your stuff large enough. 4x probably won’t fit you, you know. You are a lot bigger than you realize, and every day you seem to get bigger.” I walked out with the first package making eye contact with him, and went back to get the other.
“You shouldn’t need that cart. If you walked around this store, the exercise would help. You are always talking diet and yet, you just get bigger.” When I walked out with the second package I am sure my fingernail prints were in the box and smoke was pouring off the top of my head.
I smiled my best smile at her, and asked if she wanted to look at the products. She said she did and he just looked on. I pulled out some pretty tops and he looked at them and asked me the size. I told him they were 4x. He gruffed at me that I better open them because they would never fit. I smiled at her again. I opened the package, wanting to smack him with it. “These might actually be too big, and if they are you can return them,” I honestly told her. They did look big for her.
They are really pretty so I started telling her how lovely they were and that I thought they would look great on her. The colors were bright and cheery, perfect for spring. She relaxed some and started telling me about her dieting struggles, I listened and I told her my Dr. Jack story. I really need pamphlets or cards or something. She listened and started telling me she tried everything. He stood there and told me all about his naturally thin metabolism. “That’s great for you but we are all not as fortunate, I seriously don’t even need to eat a cookie, just think about it and I gained weight, until this doctor,” I told him.
I wrote down Dr. Jack’s contact information and website. She looked at it and told me that nothing has ever worked for her, so I pulled out my before picture. He looked at it in disbelief. “Some of us need a different approach. ….An expert, someone who understands our struggles. Someone who looks at the problem through different eyes.”
I told her how compassionate Dr, Jack is, how he has never looked at me through any eyes except those that saw who I was not what I looked like outside. Her face changed when I said that. I told her how kind he is, and how he just has so much knowledge that others don’t understand. She told me how hard it is to give up food. I looked at him and I could understand that’s where she consoles herself. So many of us do that, I get that. I told her I eat more now than I ever ate and still lose. It’s just different food. She said it sounded like a dream come true, and I assured her it is.
I hope she finds Dr. Jack. I really do. And if not today, I hope she keeps his name for when she is ready. I hope Dr. Jack educates him about how his superior metabolism, and eating all the junk he talked about is not serving him well either. Karma might just catch him with a whole host of health problems he doesn’t even realize. In the meantime, I hope she just keeps thinking that if it works for me, it can work for her too.