Learning to say “no”….

Some of my best conversations with Dr. Jack have had a common theme. I ask a question, and then, I just am quiet and listen.  Those are our best conversations.  When he starts talking and suddenly, I find myself mesmerized with what he is saying.  I start taking notes fast and furious.  When he is done, I think about the things he said for days.   He is soooooo super at education, and even better at being totally honest with you about areas of your health that you don’t even consider. I count on that honesty and have come to value it so much.     And one of those recent conversations, was centered around what is my total inability to say, “No,” to anyone….for anything.  Affecting my health?  Absolutely!!

I bet you wonder how I got his far in life without him? Yeah, I often wonder about that, too.  I hate saying, “No,” to anyone.  I try to be a kind person, and if I can help anyone, I try to do that.  But, as Dr. Jack rightly pointed out to me, that comes with a price tag.   And truthfully, I am far too often the kind of person so many others take advantage of.   That’s another blog…..

So, during this educational conversation, he told me that he has a sign on his desk….

When you say, “Yes,” to someone or something, it means you are saying, “No,” to something or someone else.

Yeah… I need to embroider that on a pillow or wall hanging and put it in my line of view every single day.   I am skilled at saying, “Yes,” soooooo skilled.   And who is the person I always take away from to do that? Me.  I don’t need sleep, or time for things I enjoy!  I can’t remember the last movie I saw, not at home or out.  I never read a book during the school year.  I rarely do anything, “fun.” There are no fun afternoons, no fun weekends, zip.  And lately I have made no time for exercise, swimming, painting, or anything that would be relaxing to me.   Too busy with things I have to do.  What am I doing?? Is this helping me be healthy? Hardly!  In fact, total opposite.   I don’t even make ten minutes to just sit and be!

Now, there is no way, I am the only person here who does that. You know it’s true….  And the fact is, that can impact your health!    It absolutely does.  When you are driving yourself ragged who pays for it with stress, and the production of fat storing hormones? Hello!  You do!!  I know I am!  All that is going to end in is Hashimoto flare ups and I have come to far to go there!

I am working on fixing all of that but I am struggling.  Tough learning new skills, right?  And this one? Wayyyyyy out of my comfort zone.   After all, it’s easier to follow old patterns and comfort in that.

I talked to my life coach, Rob Ciminelli, telling him how so much of what Dr. Jack says, rolls around in my head because I know he is right, I just don’t know how to fix it.  Rob is very patient, because he, too, has told me these things a million times. He has explained to me these patterns and that you have to clear out old or new has no home to go to.   He added his own piece of advice….

Is what you are saying, “Yes,” to, bringing you life?

Hmmmmm…. ummmmmm.  Sighhhhh…..no… often it isn’t.  Often it is just something where I didn’t want to say YES,  I just couldn’t find a way to say NO.

I talked to Dr. Jack more about it.  He posed some interesting ideas to think about….. if it isn’t affecting finances, or health, say, “No.”   Sometimes we are saying, “Yes,” and the person we are saying that to, doesn’t really appreciate it as much as we might think they do.  Sometimes, you are harming your own health by doing it. He aptly pointed that out and made a homerun when he started with, “When was the last time you actually……”

Those things really made me stop and think in this early month of Mayhem, that has quickly come.

Okay…. I can do this!     I just have to start somewhere.  I said, “No,” to two things this week.  That wasn’t easy for me, but I did it.  And I started looking at all the things I am doing looking for ways to pare down.   It’s a process …..and I am working on it.   I am a work in progress, and so are you!

So, try it….

A little more,”No,” to things that don’t bring you life, and a lot more, “Yes,” to YOU!

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