Dear Chris,
My suggestion is to avoid negative people as much as possible. Not only while you are making these great
changes in your life, but always.
Dr. Jack
Not long after I started with Dr. Jack I started to notice more and more the negative people I encountered. It started with a comment that a child made to me about my size. It cut me to my core.
I have always been overly sensitive I guess. I tell everyone, that which is your greatest gift is also your curse. I have so much empathy for other people but that makes you vulnerable, too. I was hurt because the comment was heard by parents, so why didn’t they tell their child how wrong that was? How do you stand there hearing your child be cruel to anyone and not correct it?
Like any overweight person, I have heard my share of snide comments. People can really be so cruel, and cruelty, whether we believe it or not can be taught to children. At my part time job there is a Subway. Often I sit in there but bring my own lunch. One day a larger woman was having a sub. A kid walked by and made fun of her while the mother stood there laughing. I have seen so much of that and it breaks my heart. Most people don’t realize that every day is a struggle. You aren’t eating badly, you just can’t get your weight to move. It’s easy to just figure the person eats like that all the time. Even at my heaviest weight, I think that essentially, with the knowledge I had, I was eating better than most slim people I know.
When I see overweight people, I feel badly because I know how much I struggle. Sometimes I would only eat like every other day. Did I lose any weight? Not a pound. And yet the one time someone sees you enjoying something, comments are made. They think you eat like that all the time.
But that is not the only negativity that exists. Negativity takes on lots of forms. People notice you are eating differently. You are working hard at it and still you hear negative comments.
You won’t be able to keep that up, it’s too hard. The holidays are coming, what will you do? You can not expect to eat that way the rest of your life! One bite? That won’t hurt anything! We are all having it, let’s be fat together. Real friends would have some so we don’t feel guilty eating it in front of you. Yikes……
Yes, negativity comes in many forms… I learned to just smile, but then Dr. Jack woke up something inside of me. As a coworker told me, “Chris, you got your fire back. ”
But that too has a cost….You engage the negative person and then the energy is getting sucked right out of you. “Well, no one is asking a diabetic if they want cake! I too, am just trying to suppress my symptoms and get well. “. I felt as though I was exhausted trying to explain myself and why I was doing what I was doing. Endless explanations about how I was trying to cure my disease, and how yes, one little bite could send me backwards.
Dr. Jack and I talked about it and then he explained to me that the way to deal with negativity is to avoid it. So you can escape the space, walk away, run, but don’t engage it because all it does is take all your energy. I had not thought about that. You spend so much energy trying to convince the other person that you are right that there is nothing left for you.
If you can’t escape, go to your own place of peace mentally. I love to be outdoors, I love fresh air and sitting on my porch steps. So when I encounter these people and I can’t avoid it, I pull up my mental shield and go to my porch, in my mind, with the cool summer breeze blowing on my face. If they try to engage me, I excuse myself and find a spot where I can be at peace.
Dr. Jack has taught me that there is way too much stress in life. Some can’t be avoided but you have to learn how to deal with it because all it does is release fat storing hormones instead of fat burning ones. After all my hard work to get the burners up?? I don’t think so. Adios Negative People……
Well, that or…… You can do what else I did, which was to recite that childhood poem we all adored. It will make you giggle and then people wonder what you are thinking and giggling about. That throws them for a loop, too.
I am bubblegum, you are glue. Anything you say, bounces off of me and sticks to you. Giggggglesssssssss…..
P.S. Giggles are good for fat burning hormones! No Dr. Jack never told me that, I made it up! Giggle….