I am sure you thought I left, and gave up my Dr. Jack way of life, nope! You couldn’t be more wrong. Lots of people might think that but they don’t really know me. And lots more people tried to convince me that I should go another route. But they, too, are wrong. People think I changed my way of eating, also wrong. They think I totally gave up … wrong….
It has been a difficult few years, with a lot of joy, but still difficult. Know the quickest route to symptoms and weight gain? Stress…. it truly is so much about stress. For my loyal friends who follow me, if you don’t think stress cannot push your Hashimoto’s into a tailspin, I am here to tell you, you are wrong. And how long will that tailspin last, is answered by my disease, as, “Who knows…..”. I am living proof that the best intentions in the world coupled with stress will bring back your disease with a vengeance.
Both my disease and my weight loss, kept creeping…..backwards. My efforts to derail it were met with my symptoms and Weight gain. Yet, despite all, I kept eating the same way. I still took the same supplements, Looking back now, I think if I hadn’t, things would be so much worse, but this week, something has shifted. I am not sure what the magic solution has been, although I attribute it to many things, but things might HAVE shifted.
This terrible place has lasted for more than a year, and no matter what I did, it just would not stop. But…..There are three things I hung onto throughout this place, that I am naming in the book I write, the chapter I will call “The Dark Forest.” Those things are Hope…. that is one thing I hung onto, and I seriously am hoping that I am finally out of that place, as this last week or so, I have seen the smallest amount of progress. Second, is Dr. Jack, who has always believed me when others have not, who just kept telling me to deal with my stress issues, to get past this and things would move again, back to where I am at my best. And third is my own stubbornness that refused to allow me to just quit and call it done.
If you have ever done a program with Dr. Jack, you know that there are times when you detox yourself, dump the toxic load that we all pick up from food, and the environment. As he explained to me, each of us has a bucket, and when it overfills, it wreaks havoc. I think I have the tiniest bucket in the world, and despite trying to dump it, still no bettering of symptoms and weight gain rather than loss. And I have tried every three months religiously to just do that, dump the bucket, and nothing happened, absolutely nothing. Until this week…
A few weeks ago, I tried one after school let out, results? None.. did I want to just give up? Yes! For a bit…. but I can’t…. I just can’t find it in me to give up.
Tried again, because how ridiculous right? Shouldn’t some change happen?? and suddenly something shifted… durning it, my Hashimoto symptoms went down and pain went up, a sure sign that something inside was losing its toxic load. You see when people detox they feel it in different ways. Some get headaches, or feel tired. Me? It is all about pain, pain in my spine, where my surgery was. Pain in my sciatic nerve, my tailbone where I broke it. So when the pain started I thought, wow, something might have shifted. That is when I knew something must have moved inside.
What has been the problem for the last year or so? Stress. Emotional stress, and physical stress caused by my trying the wrong way to deal with emotional stress. Way too much stress… Where did it all come from? How long a list? Let’s see, stress from watching my kids grieve, stress waiting for my granddaughter to be born safely, stress watching my daughter’s pregnancy, stress when Shannon died, stress watching my Joey go through Hell, stress from my job, stress from every day life, stress from Covid, and trying to do my job online, stress trying to juggle too many balls in air, stress from trying to do 110% everywhere and being mad that I couldn’t……. seriously I can go on here for days.. and the more is stressed, the more I stressed about the stress..
oh I tried to fix it! But my best efforts met no result, and then I blamed myself, so I started eating less and less, because that had to be the problem right? I mean if something was to blame it must be ME…that is the topic of another day!
For today, I savor the pain, that hopefully brings a change. I truly hope, that after this deep dark forest where I have been lost for so long, trying way too hard to find a way out of, I have done just that.
I had the chiropractor this morning. He started and said, “You seem tight, here and here.” Yup! That is the spot!! THOSE are the pain spots!! This just might be the turning point. Maybe I finally finally finally have dealt with what I need to inside to make this disease calm itself down. Hoping….
I have one goal, to be my best self, physically, emotionally….. after all, I have the best reason in the world. I want to watch this, to not miss a moment of this, my biggest blessing to grow, to just become who she is. Look at her, isn’t she the best gift Heaven ever sent? And look at her looking at me? She has high hopes for me. Can’t let her down.
