A lot of people compliment me on my success so far. Many of them tell me, “I could never do what you are doing because I have no willpower.” I have to be honest, I kind of cringe when they say that. I hate that word “willpower.” It kind of makes it seem as though other people have some magical quality that the rest of us don’t have.
A lot of my dislike of that word comes from bad past experiences. It is a word that people used about me, as what they assumed was a way of motivating me, but it had the opposite effect. Every time someone said I didn’t have any, it was a direct hit. And the more they said it, the more I believed that I lacked some essential quality that successful people have.
I have sat at plenty of appointments with health professionals who told me that was my biggest problem, that I didn’t have any willpower. They told me that my inability to lose any weight was based on a lack of willpower. I wasn’t in it for the long haul. Never mind that it took me six months to lose six pounds, because that wasn’t in it for the long haul right? I started to believe them.
When I got going with Dr. Jack, I told him about this. I can still hear him, “You are kidding right? You know, Chris, if someone tells you a lie often enough, you start to believe it is the truth. When someone tells you the truth, you believe it is a lie.” That registered in my head. I wrote it down and made it part of my journal cover.
I believed that I had no willpower at all. The story was always the same. I would start a program, and I would gain weight or lose nothing, and then I would give up after about two months. Looking back, I think I showed a lot of willpower, just lasting that long!
When I started with Dr. Jack I asked myself if I would have the willpower to do this. Did I have any willpower?? So many people told me I didn’t have any that I was convinced I didn’t. But, I started thinking about my classroom. I have willpower!! A child does not understand something. I find a new way to explain it. I don’t get impatient or annoyed, I just find a new way. And if that way doesn’t work, then I try another. Isn’t that willpower? Someone does something that annoys me, I don’t scream and yell, trying to demean them as a person, I try to understand where they are coming from, isn’t that willpower? Someone cuts me off in traffic, I don’t yell bad things or beep at them. Isn’t that willpower?
Are you a parent? If you are, you know exactly what willpower is. Your child does not want to go to bed on their designated time, and you want them to. Does that require discipline on your part to hang in there during the tirade? Your teenager wants to go somewhere unsupervised and the argument begins. You have to stand steady and not give in to that, and the big battle of wills, isn’t that willpower?
You get up and go to your job every single day because you have to pay your bills and feed your family. Doesn’t that take willpower? When your family or friends need you and you just would rather stay home, you go to help out. Doesn’t that take willpower? What in life doesn’t take willpower? So if I didn’t have any, how did I get all those things done? How did you?
So if willpower wasn’t the problem, and I obviously had some ,then what was the thing that made me think I lacked it???
That’s easy!!!! SUCCESS!!!!! It’s amazing to me that when you start feeling successful, willpower is easy! You get ten pounds gone and you are feeling good about what is going on. You aren’t hungry, you are not sore from over exercise and so you get up the next day, and you are ready to keep going. You are not tired from a lack of nutrition all day long. You feel good and when you look in the mirror, you actually see that you look better! Success…. that was all you needed. Willpower comes from success. Success comes from doing things that are good for your body. And you put all that together? Well, that’s a great winning combo. So, stop beating yourself up about willpower, keep yourself nourished, and get yourself some success!