When I got in my car, I sent Dr. Jack a text. I apologized and said, “I am soooo sorry……I loved it!! I will write when I get home” I drove home thinking so hard, it seemed like it took only a minute to get there. I went in, and sat in my kitchen. I knew I had to talk to him. I had to talk to his voice not some impersonal text. I should have apologized to his face…. but I would have been a mess. I sent him a text asking him to call me.
When he called, it was hard for me to talk. I told him that I absolutely LOVED it. Nancy Hughes was the kindest, sweetest instructor ever. I learned so much and the thing was I felt GOOD inside. I felt calm, and I felt like I COULD learn to do these things. She was the perfect instructor for me! PERFECT!!!! My back felt better. I told him all about the evaluation and how it went and that I felt I could do this. I could be successful at this. I was excited to share with him. But I felt badly still.
I apologized so much I think he wanted to scream. He doesn’t know what an overly active conscience I have and how long I will be bothered by this. I think about it all the time, STILL!!!! I keep thinking how there are not enough, “I am sorries,” to cover this at all!!!!
He was so sweet to me. His professional conduct is endless. He didn’t get annoyed, he just reminded me that he is trying to improve my life. He kept telling me how happy he was for me. I told him, how sorry I was about being stubborn but this was a hard one for me. He was patient on the phone and talked to me about how he will always make suggestions to me. His goal is my health. He talked a long time, and I felt badly taking time from his personal life. But he kept going, talking to me about how hard he knew it was for me to go and how proud he was that I was able to do that. He is always proud of me, and that is something that feels so good inside me.
And, it was in that minute that something hit me. Dr. Jack didn’t suggest some gym, or some other kind of activity. He suggested a program where I would feel control because he knows that is important to me right now. He picked the perfect thing to heal not just my body, but something that would help to heal my soul and my mind. THAT is a holistic health professional!! THAT is the difference between what he does and what traditional medicine does. I slept that night better than I have in a long time.
When I got up, and went to work, there was a text asking if I was sore. I explained that I wasn’t, I just knew I had used muscles I had not before. He told me that was a good sign that I could push myself a bit.
I LOVE Dr. Jack. Have I mentioned that before???
I have never been a number to him. I have always been, “Chris.” He knows me, he understands my gifts and my shortcomings. He knows how to motivate me and keep me on track. He gives me ideas and lets me make decisions, and when he thinks I am wrong, he is brave enough to tell me so, not many people are. And that is something I have the utmost respect for.
I have done Nancy’s exercises every day. I enjoy them. They bring a special kind of calm to my day. I find that after school, they release the tension of my day. I find that at stressful school moments, I take time to do her breathing which settles my mind and calms my nerves. I find that I stand straighter and that muscles in my back and legs are less tense. One day…. just one day, improved my life considerably. SO what will a bunch of days bring? I can hardly wait!!!
I am looking forward to learning as much from her as I possibly can. I am so eternally grateful to her for her kindness to me, for taking on the clumsy, big girl, for teaching me that there is more to exercise than I believed, that I don’t have to be the one left behind. It isn’t about the mean girls, it is about me just getting better. THAT is what she taught me in ONE day. I know I will just come to love her more each time I see her.
And Dr. Jack….. well………. I learned more about him, and he learned a whole lot more about me. I often wonder if he had any idea the day he took me what he was getting into. And I wonder, if he had to do it all over again, knowing what he knows now, if he still would say, “Yes.” I hope so. I am not his big success story. But I have been forever changed by him, and I hope he realizes that the time he has spent on me was not wasted time. I am just a little more bruised than most people, and it takes me time to get where I need to go.
It’s all a process, and when you look at me and think how “great” you think I have done, know that just like you, I am struggling along, trying every day to heal more than just my Hashimoto’s.
I promised Dr. Jack, the next time he suggests something? I am going to just SHUT UP!!!! We laughed about that. Thankfully, our relationship is intact. Thank goodness for his understanding and kindness but especially his patience. HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS for him!!
I tell anyone who listens to me…. he saved me. Every day that I know him, I am stronger, and I am a better person because of his influence in my life. No amount of money could have bought that for me.
There…. now I shared something that was really hard to tell. He told me a few weeks ago, “Maybe you will write about this experience on your blog!” I thought, “Are you out of your mind? I will NEVER tell a living soul about this.’ giggles…. look who knew me better than I know me????
SO next time you think I am so, “pulled together,” understand, I am just covering it up better. WE are all struggling along. We all have gifts and we all have issues. Let’s all try to remember that and to just be kind to others walking the path. You never know how your actions might affect someone else. I guess we can build each other up, or break each other down. Just…. Be kind any chance you get.
Hugs, Chris