It really wasn’t any of my business but I couldn’t help myself. Apparently, my cured Hashimoto’s disease has had interesting side effects, like unlocking my mouth, I was sitting here in Rochester, getting some service done in my car. I bought my car here last year, because my best friend, Mark got me an awesome deal. I made appointments for inspection, oil change and then to go across the street to have the undercoating checked, and cleaned. I knew it would be a day here waiting, so I brought things to work on while I am here.
Sitting across from me in the waiting room was a very large woman. She had trouble walking and looking for a spot to sit that would be comfortable. She brought in a bag with books, and some snacks. She was sitting there reading things on her phone and not bothering anyone, eating sandwiches, chips and pop. Across from her was a mom, with two teenage girls, about the ages of the students in my class. They were carrying on giggling as kids do, but then I realized what was going on. The girls were taking video of the woman and laughing and making comments, obvious to me and everyone else in the room. They would snap photos and obviously used some kind of program to make captions which they were discussing loudly enough for the whole room to hear. The comments ranged from unkind to disgusting to cruel. I looked at them….. Seriously???
The woman who was being photographed was getting uncomfortable and despite her pleading looks at the mother, the torture continued to the point they were laughing out loud, oblivious to the mom. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to reason in my mind that the mother had not noticed yet, or that she was watching the tv and didn’t see. But I realized that she was simply ignoring the behavior and letting them do as they please. Despite some disgusted looks from others, a man saying how disrespectful young people have become, the cruelty continued.
I started thinking about all the times people have made comments to me about my size, times I saw someone take my picture, people talking about what I ate, about me while I sat there with my mouth shut and never said a word. I just took it. I never said a word, not a single word. I used to sit there, smiling while they did it, making them think I didn’t care, and kept it inside where it hurt so bad. I kept thinking about all the years that I had tried so hard to lose weight and maybe this woman has, too! Maybe she has tried so much and failed, that she just gave up. I could see myself in her, and I was fidgeting more and more. I tried to sit there today, I really did , but couldn’t stand it anymore. …..and then it happened.. ..
Suddenly, the lock on my jaw that has been on the receiving end of that kind of behavior suddenly loosened and fell off.
I got up and walked over to the woman, put out my hand and said, “Hi!! My name is Chris, can I sit here?” She seemed flustered but I had made the first move, so there was no going back now. I told her loudly enough, “Do you know those girls are video taping you? ” Well, all of a sudden, Mom woke up. She asked what the problem was and I explained it to her. She commented about how kids will be kids, kind of laughing it off, to which I explained, that it is our job as adults to supervise and correct what is wrong. I told her if I were her, those phones would disappear into my purse, not to be seen for a long time. She asked me what made me an expert on children, and without breathing I responded, “I think teaching middle school for thirty eight years makes me an expert.”
She was flustered, and she told the girls to put the phones away and stop it. I told her that wasn’t enough and she apologized to the woman but I wouldn’t let it go. I told her it’s the girls who need to apologize and that they need to show the woman that the pictures were deleted. She rolled her eyes at me, and it was obvious where their attitude came from. She handed them the phone and motioned to do it. They glared at me and I smiled. My inner teacher laughs, like they are the first teens who ever glared at me? Please! A day without kids glaring is a rarity.
The mother and girls were called for their car, and she quickly left as others in the room laughed, and one man told me, “Good work!” The mother had told me it just gets tiring, constantly correcting them. I told her I understand but that is our job as parents. Keep those phones a few months, watch their attitude change. When did we become afraid of kids??
My new friend introduced herself as Laura. We started talking and she thanked me. She told me about her weight loss struggles, having been on another failing diet a few days ago, and here she was consoling her lack of effort in chips and cookies. I told her that maybe it isn’t her fault at all, and some of my story. Then I gave her Dr. Jack’s website. She talked to me about how ugly she feels all the time, how worthless. She hugged me when she got called and thanked me for stepping in.
To all the Laura’s of the world?? We are not ugly, and we are a whole lot more than the number on a scale!! Don’t let anyone call you names without standing up for yourself. I am no one to give that message, since it took me until today to realize that. All I know is the more I talked to you, I found that you are a beautiful person, so don’t let anyone ever say otherwise!