Dr. Jack knows all about my, “Ohhhhh…,” moments. He has seen plenty of them. Lots of people call them, “Ah, ha,” moments. But for me they are more like, “Ohhh……” I actually think that is funny because my name is, Chris OConnell, get it? Chris Ohhhhhh! They are moments when I forget that when you lose a hundred pounds, things actually change. One time, when I had lost like thirty pounds, I said to Dr. Jack, “Well, I think we are getting somewhere, and even though I don’t see it, I think we are making progress. .” I can remember clearly his response. ” So, you dropped thirty pounds, and you ‘think’ we might be getting somewhere, and you truly can’t see it? Really, Chris?? Look again.” ” Well, yeah, I am looking in the mirror and I see that……. Ohhhhhhhhhh..”
I have had lots of them, and it’s funny really because the problem is that inside my head, I am exactly the size I started. I still have not gotten used to looking and seeing that the person in the reflection actually is me. Happens all the time and I think, “You goof! Duhhhhhh.”
Another one of my firsts happened when I attended a seminar where Dr. Jack was speaking and I thought someone across the room looked familiar, and it turned out that it was me I saw. Duhhhhhh….
Then there was my chair last week at Dr. Jack’s concert. The one that I barely fit in last year and now is too big for me. It is my reflection in the mirror walking in a store, where I think, “Hey! Don’t I know her??” It’s when I put on my band jacket last week and thought I could just sew it a little and it would be fine. Happens all,the time and still, it catches me off guard.
Last week at the YMCA, I was near the window. I can see the lower half of the reflection. I see a lady walking on a treadmill in the reflection, but only her lower half. “Wow… Look at the great pace she is going at. I wish I could do that!! My legs look so much heavier than hers, wish I could start moving in that direction. Look! How weird, she has on the same pants I do, and she is…..Ohhhhhhhhhhh….”
Stopped at Wegmans on the way home, parked in a tight space. “Maybe I should find a wider space, there is no way I can get my butt out of the car in this space. Hey! I opened the door and walked out no problem, how did that happen?? I never could…Ohhhhhhhh.”
Pulling out underwear from the drawer. “How did all of these get the elastic stretched out at the same time? What brand is this, I am never buying these again. I have worn these a long time and they were perfectly fine and … Ohhhhhhhhhh…”
“Why do I need to move this seat in the car? Since I have owned this car I have had the seat in the same spot. Has someone been driving my car? I am so far away from the pedals, I have always….Ohhhh.”
The other day I had an itch on my leg, and I pushed up my toes and looked back. I saw this bizarre protrusion. “What the heck is that? I have never seen that before! Sara!! Look at my leg, what’s this weirdo thing going on? Should I take a picture and send it to Dr. Jack?? ” “Mom, if you do that he will probably be hysterical.” “No he won’t! I think I have a big problem here!!” “Mom? those are your calf muscles.” “What? I never….Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh……”
Had to buy new sneakers, did you know your feet shrink?? They actually do! I am finishing off the last pair of this size and going down a half size. My kids always teased me about being short but now they tell me that I look shorter! When you are heavier, it shows but not like it shows now. Lol… Um yeah, not sure how I feel about that but we are rolling with it.
I was doing an activity at the Y and someone asked if I wanted some help, and of course they don’t know what I looked like ten months ago. “Chris, why do you move like you are twice your size? You kind of seem too careful,when you step, like you are carrying a lot of weight on you.” “Well, yeah because, hello, I am carrying….ohhhhhhhhhh.”
“Sara, what the heck is wrong with this top? Why doesn’t it look right?” “Because you keep buying the wrong size. Try this on instead. ” “Seriously? This is never going to fit me. I am telling you right now this is way too small because…ohhhhhhhhhhhh.”
There are all kinds of weird things I see that I forgot I had in my body. I pull a door and I see this weird looking thing pop up. There are muscles, veins, bones popping out in places I didn’t remember. It’s all pretty amazing really.
Its all silly and fun sometimes. I know that I lost a hundred pounds. It’s just that my head is having a hard time catching up. I am sure it will eventually. Sometimes I just can’t even believe it! It’s those”Ohhhhhhhhhhhh” moments and they really are a gift!