Guess what? I am starting to feel normal! Bet you think that sound so nuttty! Ha ha…
Once or twice a month, I visit Dr. Jack’s office, to see Kelly, who helps me with my skin issues. I use the sauna and then she does a skin wrap for me to help with my ever changing, ever loosening skin. The sauna is a great part of my visit. I find it to be one of my best thinking spots ever. I get my best ideas in there. After I get out, I need to cool down before she starts so I walk around, drink some water and just bring my body temperature down.
I always need to go to the bathroom, lol, because I drink a ton of water every day. The bathroom is in the back of their offices, down a hallway that extends to the back of the building. The first time i asked to use the bathroom, Kelly told me where it was. I turned the corner and then I saw it right away. Along that wall is what I like to call, the “Wall of Success.”
It’s an entire wall and then extended to the opposite wall, filled with before and after pictures of people who have done Dr. Jack’s program. I stood there the first time, awestruck at all the photos, thinking how many people Dr. Jack has helped, and that these were only the tip of the iceberg! I stood there staring at just the enormity of it all. Wow…. what a great doctor to have changed all these lives! I look at those photos every time I go there and each time I notice something new about them.
I admit that my first inclination was that I looked at them with envy. I wondered if I could ever achieve even a percentage of the success that those people had. I wondered if that was even possible for me. I was ridden with symptoms, was there ever hope of looking like them? I would look at them and pray silently that I be able to experience a small measure of their success.
Then one day, I started reading the little stories under their pictures, “…is experiencing better sleep”…. “cut diabetes medication in half”….”life saving”…..”cured stomach issues”. …. “no more thyroid issues.” I realized that some of these people had significant health issues, just like me, and they had made a total life change.
Another day I looked at their faces, some young, some much older, many older than me, and thought about doctors have told me that weight loss after fifty is so difficult. And then I looked at their smiles. Sad, scared faces first day faces next to happy, dancing eye, last day photos. I looked at them and realized, that they all look like new healthy examples and that I hope I can achieve their success.
I study those photos each time I go. They are full length photos, something I despise. And even though I have taken so many for Dr. Jack, I am quick to see the flaws. In Dr. Jack’s bathroom, there is a full length mirror, and in the sauna despite my uncomfortable state, I usually wear shorts and a tank top, because you really sweat in there. The last time I went, I looked at the photos and wondered when I will look like the people in them. When will I look like a normal person?
I used the bathroom and the reflection in that full length mirror caught my eye. I usually avoid looking as much as possible because I don’t want to see it. After all, clothes hide a lot. But I turned and looked. I was kind of startled at who was looking back. In many ways, I look like the after photos. I realized that despite some problem areas, I DO look like a normal person! It’s funny to me how my head’s perception and reality do not match. I kind of shook my head. Seriously, it’s time to stop viewing myself as though the weight I lost is just a number. It is a real thing. Funny how my head thinks we lost over a hundred pounds but we look exactly the same as we did before, And even though I have my pudgy spots, my lumps and bumps, in reality, I look far more normal than my head believes.
I came out and smiled at the Wall of Success people. I silently thanked them for reminding me that even though we aren’t done, I have come a long way down this road, and I feel at home among them. I have achieved great success, and totally ch aged my health and mental well being. I am a new person, a much better version of my before picture. And one of the big bonuses is that I look completely normal. One of the best things that could ever have happened to me!