I always knew pets grieved, I can’t say I totally understood how. But like any living creature, some love, understanding and attention goes a long way in helping. For some, the road is harder. All of our family animals have grieved in some ways. Some seem to be making their way easier than others.
Who took death the hardest? Sara’s dog, Bailey. That’s the hardest one for me. I have always loved Bailey. And he has always loved me. He is a tan colored miniature poodle, not the toy, but a mini, and I have always been one of his favorites. He knows the sound of my car lock and When I would arrive it was always the same. He hears my car door, and jumps on the couch. Then he looks out the picture window, and waits for me to hit the lock so he can hear the beep.
I wave and his ears jump up and flies for the door. If his doggie door is open he runs to the gate and jumps up and down. My greeting takes at least five minutes as he runs to get toys and drop them on my lap, licking me, running to get treats and drop them on me. I admit I love the attention because I never considered myself much of an animal person until he came along. And I have been spoiled by the love and attention.
Well, that was until Shannon died…..
The first day I came with Joey after Shannon passed, Bailey ran to greet us and watched the door. Joey always had come with Shannon. And the truth is that Bailey loves them equally as well. Joey was always a favorite play friend as Bailey would tease Joey with toys and snatch them. Shannon loved to run her fingers through his curls and they often took him to Petsmart to buy a toy or go to the park for a walk.
Only this time Shannon wasn’t with us. Bailey sat with us a few, we talked normally but he kept watching the door, waiting. When she didn’t come, he suddenly looked at us, walked to the bedroom where his crate is, and laid in there with the saddest eyes I have ever seen. I walked in and sat in the floor, and put my hand in to touch him and talk.
He actually looked at me, got out and walked to the other side of the bed, to hide and my heart almost broke. The tears were coming fast. Telling Joey we needed to go home, because I didn’t want to upset anyone with my reasons or tears, we left. Later I told Sara. Joey by himself a few times and same reaction.
I went a few times alone…. the same. Many times, I got in my car and cried. First I had lost the baby, and then Shannon and now I was going to lose him too. I talked to Rob and Dr. Jack who explained to me that animals do grieve. Rob told me that they pick up on our sadness, as well, so I tried to be mentally in a different place, but it was the same. I didn’t force the issue, I just accept where he is that day.
We have all tried to be patient, I don’t push. I go and I sit. He is always glad to see me when I arrive but then all of a sudden, he looks at me and leaves. I really hope his grief will pass soon. I miss what we had. If he goes in his crate, I would go in and sit to pet him, but I don’t want to encourage the behavior so I don’t do that anymore. It is hard sometimes to watch him, come back out, look at me and return. When I leave he rejoins Sara and Russ…. it’s hard. I wish I could figure out what to do to make it better. It’s just going to take time I guess.
Bentley the bearded dragon, seems to be adjusting. Joey takes him out occasionally, plays with him, wears him like jewelry and keeps his belly full in crickets and salads. He seems okay. Gizzy, the lion mane rabbit is doing better. She has gotten used to me handling her and she even let us trim the fur around her eyes so she could see the world better. She is not skittish when I feed her anymore and let’s me brush her. She sheds enough fur to make another rabbit and she seems to enjoy the attention.
Eli, the guinea pig is still skittish, but he is around Joey as well, and he was always that way for Shannon too. But he sniffs at me when I give him breakfast and I know the huge blackberries I got for him and Gizzy, made me a few friends. We stand there chopping organic greens at night and they are very happy with things. I have learned the cleaning routine and I help Joey to keep them clean and happy.
Louie, the cat has adjusted, but he still pines for Shannon. Many days he sits at the door watching, but we have given him a ton of loving. With Louie, it has to be on his own terms. He will push up against you when he wants attention. His is not a pick me up and hold me cat.
He still wakes me at five for his breakfast but I noticed he gets lonely at times and wants extra attention, which is fine. For about two weeks, he seemed more stressed but has settled into a routine and gets very excited when Cathy comes over to visit. She loves all of them, and they are always happy to see her.
I had always figured animals would miss people who are gone, but I didn’t realize how perceptive they are. I have told Louie and Joey told Bailey what happened. I don’t know if they understand, but I hope they do. I hope they know that the rest of us really love them. I hope Bailey finds his way way back to me and Joey. Each time, he seems better, but it’s still not as it was and I do miss that so much.